Oh so very...

7:46pm: happy labor day
tj stayed the night last night. it was good, even if I did sleep on the floor. I woke up to pouched eggs. Mmm good ole fuckin' red neck breakfast. Uncle Chris made them for me. Everyone treats me like a princess there. someting I could definitly get use to.

8:25pm: To those Bitches who think they know me.
For all of you who THINK you know me you can just go fuck yourselves. The only people who get even relatively close to know exactly who I am and what I'm about are Joe, Callie, and Karin.

For all of you who think I'm a whore, FUCK OFF. If you took the time you'd see that I'm one of the most innocent people around. I make the pope look unholy. okay. maybe not that far but yeah.

For all of you who think I'm a bitch, good. I'm glad. That's the image I obviously WANT to send to you. You've obviously done something to piss me off because I'm USUALLY a nice hearted person.

For all of you who hate me... I wish you thought differently but whatever.

For Louise... GET A FUCKING LIFE. I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend. TRUE. I love him more than anything but I've been telling him I'd rather him be with YOU. YOU BITCH YOU . So drop this whole thing and shut the hell up. quit trying to talk to me. I don't want to talk to you. I DO hate you and quit sending your friends after me. That's immature. But then again you are a bit immature.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I HATE FEMALES. I WISH THEY'D ALL DIE... no offense ladies (meaning my friends. ie karin rose evan jane abby heidi and callie)

</3 Emy

1:31pm: yeah yeah. My discission.

yeah. so since my journal started crap at school with Kristen it's friends only. you can request to be my friend by leaving a comment but if I don't know you very well I highly doubt I'll add you.

5:03pm: Wow, I have such a crappy life.
To Matt:
I know you'll most likely never read this, and I'll most likely never tell you these things because we both know I can't express my feelings with words. This isn't exactly our best of times. We've definitely fallen apart. But some one asked me why I said yes to you if I knew it was going to end up this way... I said I didn't know, but the truth is.. I do. Matt. I want to fall in love with you again, like when we first met and you held me in your arms. There was a room full of people but it felt as if there was only you and I. You were humming softly along to your discman, I was listening, trying not to cry from the joy. I looked up at Callie with that face that said "I need him" and she said it made her sick. I'd give anything just to be able to look up at her with that face again. When I got home I layed in bed, just thinking about you. I want to do that again. I want you to get to know me. Not many people do know the true me.. and I don't want you to go by Derek's assumptions of me because that's not how I am. I'm sorry for any problems I've caused you... and really, I'm not angry at you, my friends say I should be, but I'm not. I understand completely. I just wish things were different. I wish things would just work out. And I blame this entirely on myself.

Now back to the regular rantings..

3 day weekends just make me want to shoot myself. Lets see. Friday was my dad's birthday party. He's 50 now. I had to go to the surprise party my Aunt was having for him. Not my cup of tea. They took family pictures.. and after they were done with ours my mom stormed off. I think my dad actually cried. Everyone's realizing that we're not a happy little family... which is good.. and I heard talks of the big D word the other night. yay. but anyways. I was talking to Joe online and guess who walks through the door.. BRANDON. well. he couldn't stay, and I really didn't have much to say to him, but it was good seeing him. He left around midnight and then I went to bed.

Saturday was Corey's graduation. I saw Hunter.. he's awesome. I use to have this huge crush on him. haha. but um.. my dad caused this big scene outside the gym. That was really embarrassing. I was suppose to go to Corey's graduation party but I was 1) too embarrassed. 2)Being in Plainfield is depressing now. so I came home and talked to Joe of course.

...I'll finish this later.